I know I have been quiet for many months. I actually started writing two different post this fall. One was titled Running Shoes. The other I called Unraveling. But I never had the heart to finish them. Grief is a funny thing. It seems to suck the energy out of you, though you feel like you are doing nothing. I have missed Nana very much, in the quietness of this blog. Turtled up some. Reach out to others some. Given encouragement and understand to other sisters and brothers in sorrow. And looked to others for encouragement for myself. Mostly, I sought the Lord to fill the hole left by my cherished friend and mentor. I heard someone say this about their own mentor, "I wasn't ready to let her go yet. There is so much I hadn't heard her say." I understand that deeply. Every loss has its own fingerprint. The Lord understands us exactly and what the sorrow means inside of us. But grief is still a language everyone feels. My goal in 2020 is to write more consistently. We shall see!
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I titled this post Eternal Accountability because these two words struck deep within me Sunday. Accountability helps us in numerous ways. But the reality of Eternal Accountability is eye opening!
God is my Judge. I read this this morning. It is true. There is comfort in those words because I know Jesus is my advocate. But I also understand that some of the things I do and say in this life are worthy to be burned up. They were unfruitful and at times very damaging to myself, my God, and others. Other things I have done or said I hope will be fruit that remains. Fruit that is turned to gold in the fire.
I want to get this posted. So I won't go much deeper. Dear reader, I just pray that you will give some thoughts to these two words: Eternal Accountability.