Word for 2020?

In January, friends often ask me what my word for the year is. A word to focus on. To grow in. I have learned a year is a very long time, and the Lord likes to shuffle my focus from one thing to another.

So I don't have a word for the year. But I do have  a couple phrases for this week, maybe even the next month, or longer:

True Peace and Healthy Boundaries

True peace. 

Matthew Henry is quoted as saying, "Peace is such a jewel, that I would give anything for it, but truth." Peace is defined as a calmness of soul that produces mental and emotional strength and stability. When I have peace I have a peaceful mind, a quiet conscience, a hopeful heart, and a close fellowship with God. I am at peace with God because Jesus died for me and washed my sins away. So true peace begins with knowing I am justified. With God, it is just-if-I'd never sinned. True peace hinges on if I believe I am accepted by God. The world's peace is enough to make me feel okay only when things are okay. God's peace passes all understanding. It is saying, "It's going to be okay, and even if it is not, it will be in the end." Jesus calls Himself the Prince of peace. So when storms come within me or around me, I need to focus on the Prince of Peace Who is still on the throne no matter what.

Healthy boundaries.

This one is something the Lord has been growing me in for the last couple years. A good friend gave me a shirt that says, "Stay in your lane." Healthy boundaries helps you know what is your lane. I have been studying this topic and will need write a separate post sometime in the future. For now here are some good quotes on boundaries:

"Boundaries are your responsibility. You decide what is and isn't allowed in your life." Brittney Moses

"A boundary is a definate place where your responsibility ends and another person's begins. It stops you from doing things for others that they should do for themselves. A boundary also prevents you from rescuing someone from consequences of their destructive behavior that they need to experience in order to grow." 

"My boundaries communicate what I want and what I don't want in my relationships with others. They are never an attempt to control anyone but myself."

"I didn't set this boundary to offend or please you. I did it to manage the priorities and goals I have set for my life." Kylo

Being Real.

When I decided to get into blogging, I knew I wanted to be real. Not acting like I have all my ducks in a row. Not to pretend I didn't have struggles. Jesus Christ is very real to me. His fingerprints in my life are very real. I desire to help others see how real and personal He is. 

I am not sure how often I will post this year, my track record is very sporadic! I just know I need to post more. In 2019 I didn't even post ten times! My journaling has also tapered off and that isn't healthy for me. 

2019 was a mounumental year for me with some very deep canyons. The Lord fulfilled a huge promise to me in making it possible for me to homeschool Snipp all the way! He graduated in May and he is a fine young man with a quiet, but strong faith and a heart for the bus ministry. All the overwhelming fears of 2006 have vanished. It is miraculous! It took 13 years. A lot of hard work, many tears, and many more prayers. Whenever I start to struggle with doubts about God's faithfulness, all I have to do is look at my oldest son. He is not a perfect man, the Lord is still molding him; but to me seeing him serve in church with such joy is an endless blessing. A victory! His father's death, my imperfect parenting and teaching, his own grief journey, all of it did not make him turn away from the LORD. 

Yet my goal is to be real. And I have two young men to finish homeschooling. Two teenagers to navigate to adulthood. Someone once said, "Parenting is hard; homeschooling is like parenting on steroids." So true! Some days are just hard. And many days this month I have felt so weary. 😢

Six days later:

The Lord in His wisdom gave us a snow day. We enjoyed a Saturday of just curling up with books in little niches around the house. Sunday was a breathe of fresh air to my soul. Pastor's words spoke right to my heart and I could feel the Holy Spirit opening my eyes, strengthening me, stirring hope within. Monday we headed down to visit family, Nana's family. We were all looking forward to it. Only one part was I dreading. Walking in the door and not having Nana there. Not giving and receiving a hug from my mentor & friend. I could feel the dread building within and contacted a few praying sisters. Sisters-in-Christ. Sisters-in-sorrow.  Precious sisters of faith. It is such a blessing to have sisters in this life. Our time with family was busy and short. The Lord did little things in those two days that continued to strengthen and encourage my weary soul. I returned home refreshed. Wednesday was a busy day of school and church activities. But I felt held. Protected. Today was another snow day. A planned homeschool group activity of sledding. The fresh air and homeschool mom talks were such a blessing. Then my two students and I visited a nearby town. We walked down memory lane a little bit and enjoyed A & W shakes. Later we met up with the other teens and moms at a friend's home. For a couple hours, the boys played games with their friends and us moms swapped homeschooling stories and shared about mom life. Just precious!

Like I said earlier, the Lord is so personal. He knows my needs and provides them at the times He deems best. I know in the next four months of school more hard days will come. For now, I rest in God's tender care and soak up His love. ❤