A Timely Card & a Meal

Never underestimate what God can do with a card. 

And if He prompts you to send a meal to someone, do it!

Last week was a crazy week. I was recovering from being sick. 

School work was piled up. 

We were all knocking heads. 

Then in the mail that day came a sympathy card from our homeschool group. 

It had been mailed Monday & had arrived on a day we were missing our homeschool friends. Their love, support, & prayer was an encouragement to my grieving soul. 

Then Snipp brought home supper a homeschool friend had sent with him. What a wonderful blessing! We had worked hard on school all day & I had been delayed in making supper. Just so wonderful how the Lord took care of our needs. That same friend had shared how she was specifically praying for us. What a huge blessing! We got all caught up on school & we didn't knock heads at all! 

So when God prompts your heart, dear friends, reach out.

Pray, send a card or a text, make a meal and deliver it. 

You have no idea what discouragement and battles a friend might be dealing with. 

He Maketh Me to Lie Down

 We all know Psalm 23. 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

My Jim used to say, "Sometimes He maketh us lie down on the couch or in a hospital bed." We don't see these things as "green pastures" but our Good Shepherd knows what we need. He knows the nourishment our souls are needing. Sometimes when we like to stay busy to not think about somethings, He allows us to get sick and makes us hibernate alone in our rooms. He gets a lot of one-on-one with us then. 

There has been a lot for me to process lately. Dad Scott going to heaven. Him being united with my Jim again and many others. Thoughts of heaven. Craziness of our world. The lost yet to reach. The return of Christ nearing. Seeing many family members at funeral and family gathering. Homeschooling while grieving. Just a lot. Then I woke up with an awful earache a week after the funeral. Then sinus infection hit. I was down for the count for several days. 

The Lord maketh me lie down. My time with Him was sweet. Restful. Needed. 

Keep Praying

Dad Scott's last words to me, were like a final charge to me. Two words were repeated & pierced my heart,

"...Keep praying..."

To me personally it was a charge like Dad was saying:

"Don't quit believing.

Don't quit on people.

Don't rule out what God can do.

Remember who you are and why you are here.

Pray, intercessor, pray.

Pray and pray some more.

Keep praying."

Then in the last couple days the Lord has revealed to me people & situations where GOD is answering prayers.In unique ways. It reminds me He is listening and He is at work! Never stop believing and be ready to be amazed. Keep praying!

The Empty Chair

The grieving family all sat in a row. We stretched the whole length of it. Except one. The chair next to me was eerily empty. For over 14 years I have had to deal with empty chairs. But this seemed extra empty. Probably because I was at my late husband's father's funeral. The fact they have hugged each other and are reunity is a joy. But one I can not part take in yet. Another connect to my Jim is no longer here. And at times it makes him feel so far away.

The Internet will help you with anything. I used it to calculated it out the days. I have been a widow 5,325 days!!! That is having to deal with a whole lot of empty chairs. I have learned how to survive and even thrive, but tears still come some times. And this was one of them. 

I wrapped my hand around a small rock and squeezed hard. I texted a friend an "!". I breathed. I prayed. I listened to others sing. I laughed at the funny things said. I shed more tears. And I said "amen" to every word spoken I heartily agreed with. I went through the whole service. I survived. 

Then I stood up and with the rest of the family and followed the casket of my amazing God-loving, God-fearing father-in-law. I thanked God for his impact on my life. 

The cemetery was beautiful. The wind blew through the trees and reminded me of the day God spoke to me, came running after me. God is in this place. My neice stood in front of me. I crossed my arms acrossed her. She leaned into me. A reminder the the next generation that needs cheerleaders and prayer warriors. We sang. We left. 

Later, I came back alone. The dirt was leveled out. The wind still blew. God is still in this place. I placed my flowers on top of Dad Scott's grave. No tears. Just peace. 

Butterflies & Hummingbirds

Like I usually do, I walked out to my Jim's grave before we left. I do this before we leave on trips. Today is unique. We are going to bury Jim's dad. 

As I bent down and rubbed my hand across the praying hands on top of the bench, I closed my eyes. I thanked God for keeping Dad Scott here long after my Jim was gone. For waiting till my oldest was almost 20 and the other boys were in high school. I thanked God for Dad's example of enduring faith and trust in the Lord. 

I looked at the details of Jim's memorial stone bench. I rubbed my hands across the praying hands again and closed my eyes. It comes. The feeling like my Jim is very close to me. Like he is standing behind me inside my personal radar, but not close enough to touch. I do not believe in ghost or the dead coming to visit. I do believe that Jim is with the Lord. He is in Christ. And I know how tender & near the Lord is to those who are grieving. So it makes sense to me to feel Jim close. 

I open my eyes. The feeling fades. I close them again & feel him near. Makes sense. Everything we see is temporal. What we cannot see is eternal. I feel surrounded by God's grace. Wrapped up like with a soft blanket from the dryer. 

Tjen it is time to walk away from the grave. A butterfly flitts across my path. I turn to watch it. It circles around to a tree and is met by a hummingbird. They do a strange dance in flight for a few seconds. Then the hummingbird flies away and the butterflies lands in the tree. What a precious moment to observe!

Finally Home

 

Words from Don Wyrtzen's song "Finally Home":

But just think of stepping on shore 

and finding it Heaven,

Of touching a hand, 

and finding it God's;

Of breathing new air 

and finding it celestial;

Of waking up in Glory...

and finding it Home.

Homeschooling

 I took a break from blogging in June and July. Now that we have started our homeschool year, it is time for me to get back to blogging.

Due to COVID-19 and the craziness that comes with it, homeschooling is a popular word these days. I have had several people ask me about homeschooling, and several people have mentioned they are interested or would like to, but.... and then I hear various reasons on why they can't or wouldn't do it well.

I try to listen and give encouragement. I share things that have helped me and my family. But it ultimately comes down to what you believe. 

Someone once shared with me that homeschooling has been likened to becoming a missionary or going into the military. There is a deep heartfelt cause behind the decision. Many people decide to homeschool for many different reasons. 

Homeschooling for us just naturally followed homebirthing my sons. In the early days after their father's death, homeschooling help us survive, heal, and then thrive. It gave security in a world that had been shattered. The journey has not been easy, but it has been worth it. All the sacrifices, sweat, and tears have been worth it. God faithfully gave grace, wisdom, and strength as needed. One son graduated a year ago and both of his brothers are highschoolers. As I look back, there are many reasons we began homeschooling and many other reasons that we stuck with it. 

Some of the core reasons we homeschool:

• My children are my responsibility. Their education is my responsibility. I take it seriously. I know my children; where they excel and where they struggle. God gave them to me. I am not perfect, but I love my sons and want what is best for them. And homeschooling is best for us. 
• Our faith is at the center of our life. Almighty God is not to be put in a box just for Sundays. He is very much alive and active in our world, in science, and in history. His presence needs to be acknowledged and revealed in my sons' education. A personal relationship with Him is essential and our academics nurtures this relationship. 
• Family is important. We are family. Time together, working, learning, worshiping, having fun is important. I gave birth to them at home because birth is a natural process. Sometimes it turns into a medical procedure, but it doesn't start as a medical procedure. Learning is the same thing. Learning is a natural process. Children crave to know about the world around them, to find out the how's and why's, and then share that with others. Sharing it all with family creates bonds that are powerful. 
• We enjoy our freedoms. I choose to homeschool because we can exercise our freedoms more freely. We are free from bullying, active shooters, censorship on what we write and say. We can pray outloud and read our Bibles unhindered. We have freedom in our schedule when a relative is in the hospital or a neighbor needs help with a fallen tree. We have freedom to sleep in the morning after a busy evening or double up days to finish the school week early. A student has freedom to spend two hours on a subject of interest or take a hour long break wrenching on a motor in the garage. 
• It provides great student-to-teacher ratio. My students get plenty of one-on-one attention. I might not have all the resources as public schools do. But I have a mother's deep love for my sons and can work one-on-one with them. We can slow down on difficult concepts or test out of concepts previously mastered. I am the same teacher they had last year and the year before. I know where they are independent and need to stay that way. I know where they can stretch and be more independent. I also know where they need the extra help, for now. 

I have always been thankful we homeschool. There are many hills and valleys on this homeschooling journey. But I am thankful for the freedom to homeschool and that God has allowed me to do so. 

This past spring when the pandemic and fear swept across our nation, we just kept on plugging away on our school year. We pressed on and finished early so the boys could all rock pick for area farmers. Like usual I looked over curriculum, prayed, and ordered the next year's materials. And we started the 1st Monday in August like usual. In all the unsureness around us, our home has stayed steady, an anchor in stormy seas. 

I have always been thankful we homeschooled. 

But in 2020 I have been the most thankful ever.