A Small Victory

We recently visited this 130ft high trail bridge after we spent some time with family. It was very cool! But more than being just pretty awesome and neat to see, it was a victory for me. I am scared of heights. Never used to be, but somehow in my thirties the ground began to spin when I look down from up high. Just walking down the steps of a balcony can make the world start twirling. I will feel like I am falling, though I am not, and fear rises up within me. Any touch from someone near me makes me feel like I am going to go over the edge.

On my time away for my birthday, the Lord spoke to me about many things. One of them was fears. We all have fears of one kind or another. No matter what kind they are, they paralyze us and cloud our rational thinking. Even more concerning is that the fears control us. The Good Lord doesn't want our fears to be controlling us. In fact He instructs us to fear Him only for what we fear has power over us.

Now some may argue that fears help us be careful and more cautious. And this is true. But like many things in life, this must be in balance. Having a healthy fear of fire, guns, sharks, storms, and heights could be better called having a respect for them and the power they have. When you follow safety rules and procedures, you have nothing to fear. The imbalance comes when fear is a irrational terror inside, even when safety rules are followed.

With this in mind, plus the determination to fight my fears in my forties, I walked across the bridge 13 stories above the river. I made myself stop at every lookout, and look down. When it got too dark to see, I shined my flashlight down into the world below. My head spun, but I kept the terror squelched. And each lookout was a little easier.

I have won a battle, but not the war yet. I may never be able to look down from up high and not have the world go spinning. But I have taken a step forward. On my time away, I bought myself a sign that says, "Let your faith be bigger than your fears." Let.....fears hinder our faith. Faith is letting go, it is trusting in what you cannot see. It is falling backwards without looking, trusting the Almighty will catch you. The Bible says, "Yea, before the day was I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?" Isaiah 43:13