No Peace

I stare at the hospital bed helplessly. The monitor is flatlined and the beep turns into a solid alarm. Medical personnel swarm around him like bees, clear to shock him with paddles, then swarm in again.

Tears pour down my cheeks and I scream his name as I collapse to my knees. If….I should have….if he would have….They unplug the monitor. The room becomes silent. Someone helps me up and whispers, “I am sorry.” I step closer and grip the bed rail.

I force myself to look into his face and there is no peace there. I turn and run in agony out of the room, as my heart is rattled to the core. He just entered hell...forever! My heart pounds in my chest as I flee away from him. Yet at the same time I want to throw myself on him and bring him back to life. To persuade him with truth, to believe on Christ. But it is too late.

My screams echo down the hall as I race to the waiting room. Friends and family look up at me with wide eyes. Then the thought is more than I can bear and I feel myself falling in darkness. My mind tells me I hit my head & am knocked out cold.

I wake up sobbing, safe in my own bed; my pillow is drenched in tears. My heart pounds in my chest. I am all alone with just the Lord to hold me. But the reality that my loved one is unsaved is no dream. And he is not alone. And the nightmare can easily come true about many I know.

I cry out to my God from the depths of my soul that He would give them eyes to see truth & repent and believe on Christ before it is too late. I pray and plead till my heart calms. Then exhaustion drags me back into a fitful slumber.