Forgiving Others

"If you have ever seen a country church with a bell in the steeple, you will remember that to get the bell ringing you have to tug awhile. Once it has begun to ring, you merely maintain the momentum. As long as you keep pulling, the bell keeps ringing. Forgiveness is letting go of the rope. It is just that simple. But when you do so, the bell keeps ringing. Momentum is still at work. However, if you keep your hands off the rope, the bell will begin to slow and eventually stop.”- Corrie ten Boom, Holocaust survivor, Christian author & speaker
The Lord commands us several times throughout scripture to forgive others:

• Matthew 11:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
• Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
• Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
• Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
• Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
• Ephesians 4 :32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
  

And we are commanded to do this, to forgive, or be handed over to tormentors. Read in Matthew 18: 21-35 the story of the servant who was forgiven much who was unforgiving to his fellow servant. The Key verses are 34 & 35:

“And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”

We have been forgiven by our Holy & Just God. Who are we to withhold forgiveness from others? Forgiven people need to forgive or scripture is clear, we will be handed over to the tormentors. 

Most of us would not consider ourselves to be bitter. And bitterness is something us Christians try to avoid. Bitterness has been compared to poison or cancer. But reality is bitterness is simply unforgiveness. I used to believe that bitterness was unresolved unforgiveness. Or unforgiveness that sat and fermented into stenchy garbage that attracted rats also know as the enemy. But the above scripture clearly says the servant's unforgiveness is what caused him to be delivered to the tormentors. 

So for all the separation I want to make between bitterness & unforgiveness. They are the same. Bitterness used to send warning bells off within me. Danger! Unforgiveness sounds softer rolling off the tongue but it is truly flat dangerous! And when you have been forgiven for as many things as I have, and you choose not to forgive...you find yourself quickly surrounded by tormentors. And must learn the hard way the great danger of unforgiveness. 

So ask God for help in letting go of the rope of unforgiveness and keeping your hands off that rope. The Lord help Corrie ten Boom forgive a guard from the horrible concentration camp where her beloved sister died. He can surely help us forgive others. 

Identifying with Others: Anguish

Stab. Stab. Stab. Twist.
Like a knife stabbing our heart, again and again, emotional pain can feel so physical. Our stomaches knot up, our head aches, it hurts to breath, to think, to move.

And be honest, dear reader, anguish grips our soul in such a way we wish those who hurt us would hurt too. As humans, we desire others to understand the depth and sharpness of our pain. We want them to feel it so they regret the words or actions that hurt and so they never do it to us or anyone else again. 

We know scripture talks about how we are not to render evil for evil and vengeance is the Lord's place, not ours. But I am being real about how in our pain, we are not spiritually minded. Pain is very blinding. And many of us want others to feel what we are going through. And the Lord in His wisdom struck me with this truth....

Those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. 
Read that again. The anguish of heart and soul we feel, they have already bled through. The details are different. But all pain hurts. Period. I am going to type it again; those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. And my hardness against others melts. And I bow my head. In shame. In prayer. In compassion.

We forget when our pain is loud & demanding that others know pain just as much as we do. And our desire to shut everyone out & not let a soul near us is the very reason why many people keep us walled out. The fear we feel to trust is what others have felt for years. And it is the very reason they have cemented their hearts so tight against others, even against Christ. Instead of being a Thomas Kincaid cottage with warmth & light flooding out their windows, they are like Alcatraz, cold and dreary with high walls and bars. 

The next time someone hurts you (and there will be a next time, we are human) try to remember they have been hurt too. It will help you deal with them, in life & in your heart. Now I am not saying you can't or shouldn't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy, needful, & necessary. And some people who have hurt you are toxic and shouldn't have any place in your life. But how we view them in our heart is important. 

God doesn't waste anything. Not even pain. He is the Redeemer. And He redeems our brokeness & sorrow, and helps us see others in a different light. Lamentations 3:51a says "Mine eye has affected my heart..." Viewing others as people who know excruciating pain helps grow our compassion for them and softens us to forgive. It helps us love others, even our enemies, like Christ loves us. 

Lessons

This fall, the Lord once again has taken me through another season of intense learning. It has not been fun, but it has been very educational. 

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. Psalm 119:71

Through it all, I have grown to love my Jesus all the more and to connect with Him in some new ways. The Lord has also helped me identify with others and have greater compassion for them. And I have learned the power of forgiveness and the preciousness of the peace of God. It will probably take several posts and many days to get all these lessons written. But I don't want these truths to fall wasted to the ground. And when the next pop quiz comes, I don't want to fail and have to do a another retake!

!

I heard Francie Taylor this fall and she shared the coolest thing. A dear praying friend told her to text her an "!" if she needed pray. No explanation needed. Just one button then hit send. Just awesome idea cuz sometimes it is so hard to ask for prayer. And sometimes you can't talk or even know what to text. Sometimes it is just so private and personal. Or the tears and sobs are so overwhelming you can't do anything else. So I share this with every sister I know.  

I have used the "!" cry for prayer twice now. It has been such a blessing. The quick reply I got instantly was encouragement that I wasn't alone. Someone was praying on my behalf.

The first time after I heard a reply I was silent and just wept and prayed through. When the storm had past I updated my friend about the situation.

The next time I text "!" for prayer, my friend and I text back and forth for an hour.  I was dealing with an overwhelming grief wave that bordered on a panic attack. The sobs came so hard & the pain was so intense I could barely breath. The constant contact helped me immensely. Finally I could breath normally. And eventually the tears stopped. Then I fell asleep. Peacefully. 

Use it, my friend. "!" Tell your praying friends and encourage & pray for one another. Satan doesn't want us to reach out. It can be hard, I know. But ask God who to text & then reach out.