Friday, November 30, 2018

Identifying with Others: Anguish

Stab. Stab. Stab. Twist.
Like a knife stabbing our heart, again and again, emotional pain can feel so physical. Our stomaches knot up, our head aches, it hurts to breath, to think, to move.

And be honest, dear reader, anguish grips our soul in such a way we wish those who hurt us would hurt too. As humans, we desire others to understand the depth and sharpness of our pain. We want them to feel it so they regret the words or actions that hurt and so they never do it to us or anyone else again. 

We know scripture talks about how we are not to render evil for evil and vengeance is the Lord's place, not ours. But I am being real about how in our pain, we are not spiritually minded. Pain is very blinding. And many of us want others to feel what we are going through. And the Lord in His wisdom struck me with this truth....

Those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. 
Read that again. The anguish of heart and soul we feel, they have already bled through. The details are different. But all pain hurts. Period. I am going to type it again; those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. And my hardness against others melts. And I bow my head. In shame. In prayer. In compassion.

We forget when our pain is loud & demanding that others know pain just as much as we do. And our desire to shut everyone out & not let a soul near us is the very reason why many people keep us walled out. The fear we feel to trust is what others have felt for years. And it is the very reason they have cemented their hearts so tight against others, even against Christ. Instead of being a Thomas Kincaid cottage with warmth & light flooding out their windows, they are like Alcatraz, cold and dreary with high walls and bars. 

The next time someone hurts you (and there will be a next time, we are human) try to remember they have been hurt too. It will help you deal with them, in life & in your heart. Now I am not saying you can't or shouldn't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy, needful, & necessary. And some people who have hurt you are toxic and shouldn't have any place in your life. But how we view them in our heart is important. 

God doesn't waste anything. Not even pain. He is the Redeemer. And He redeems our brokeness & sorrow, and helps us see others in a different light. Lamentations 3:51a says "Mine eye has affected my heart..." Viewing others as people who know excruciating pain helps grow our compassion for them and softens us to forgive. It helps us love others, even our enemies, like Christ loves us. 


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