Violet

Precious.

Beautiful.

Delicate. 

Gone too soon.

Once again I miss someone I haven't even met.

The familar ache hits & love bleeds out my eyes.

You made me a nana. 

The pain of losing you does not diminish the joy of the day I learned you were coming. 

The day the Redeemer reminded me that HE redeems even the saddest days.   

Even if it is 22 years later. 

Then came the text for prayer. And seeing missed phone calls. I called Snipp & fell to my knees when we feared you, lil Violet, were leaving. We prayed.

I wept as I felt the truth hit me. But I dared to deny it and hope. 

Another phone call. You were gone.....early flight to heaven. So many welcomed you. All who my heartaches for and many others. 

But back here, my heart shattered. Once again, I couldn't stop the pain from slicing into my son. And my daughter was attacked inwardly & outwardly. I felt so helpless. My nana heart grieved empty arms and my mama heart backflashed to blood and guilt and the loneliest grief.

I prayed. I breathed. I cried. I repeated these three over and over. I felt emotions rollercoaster and bumper car into others. 

I sought the Redeemer's face and held tight to His love: for this son and daughter, for my other sons, for me, for you,Violet...

I walked forward & fell to my knees. Yes, I will still praise, You, Lord.

Even when it hurts. And it hides Your plan. 

But that doesn't mean I don't cry. And that I don't long to hold you, Violet, my first grandchild. 

You are so loved. So very loved, Violet Everly. 

And missed.