Drowning in Spiritual Attack

Stubbornly, I clench my unforgiveness. The enemy smiles and opens fire. An onslaught of accusations and lies bombard my mind. Arrow after arrow fly & skillfully hit their mark. My shield seems to shrink and my armor clatters to the ground. Wounded and bleeding, I collapse. Rattled by the fierce attack, I barely resist the enemy as he grabs me by the throat and hurls me into an angry sea. And then impatiently, he awaits for me to drown. The waves come over me and I gasp for oxygen. I kick and punch the water. A part of me wants to cry out to my Rescuer, Jesus. Another part of me is so furious that I would push Him away if He comes close. The rest of me fights between what I know to be true and my soul that shakes its head in unbelief. I gasp in a small breath of grace quickly before another waves plunges onto me. I hear the taunts of the enemy from the shore. And I feel myself getting weaker and sinking.
Ever felt like this spiritually?  What do you do? You feel so weak.

• Cry out to Jesus. He is mighty to save. No long prayers needed. Just a simple cry of "Mommy!" will awaken a sleeping mother to rush down the hall in the dead of night. How much more powerful is whispering Jesus' name in desperation & faith.
• Picture His powerful blood protectively covering you. 
• Say yes to His grace. He already has it for you. Open your clenched fist.
• Play godly Christian music. Play it all night if need be. The enemy can't stand music that worships Christ.
• Read Psalms outloud. Notice how much warfare is in it and how many times God delivered.
• Don't isolate yourself. Call a trusted friend, text them, email them, reach out in some way to at least one or two Christian friends. Simply text an "!" to them.
• Journal, draw, play piano, exercise, whatever is your therapy; do it! As long as it is healthy and it doesn't draw you away from Christ.
• Times of seclusion are ok, sometimes we need to turtle up to process, but also make yourself keep going to church activities. Say yes to that lunch date with a friend. Attend that surprise birthday party . You just might hear from God on the quiet drive home. 
• Keep talking to Jesus. He can handle your ugly, your dark, your fury. Just keep talking to Him. 
• Surrender whatever you are holding on to that isn't Christ. Let it go! Unforgiveness, hurts, regrets, "what if's", unbelief, mistrust. Surrender and He will lift you up.
• Remember this: Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees. Cuz it isn't about who we are, it is about Whose we are. Though we may feel like we will drown, we shall not. The Lord didn't let Peter drown. The ship the Lord was on didn't sink. He will hold me fast and His powerful Holy Spirit dwells within the believer. 
• Hold on to hope. Every battle ends eventually. Peace will come within. It will wrap around you like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. Hope in God; His abundant peace shall come. 

A couple weeks ago my pastor preached about battles. Here are my sermon notes:
The Israelites were recently released slaves that had never known battle and yet won their first battle against a well-trained army, the Amalekites. When a Christian gets free of spiritual bondage, they can defeat the well trained & and experienced enemy's spiritual army. You have the Holy Spirit Warrior God in you!
Some battles we face are consequences of a bad decision. We all make bad decisions. But God is willing to help Joshua get out of the mess he got himself into. He didn't check with God before making a league withe the Gideonites. Yet God fought for Israel against the five kings that warred with Gibeon. Israel fought against an enemy they couldn't defeat, but Almighty God was going to have them win. Joshua commanded the sun to stand still and it did! This teaches us to start praying God-sized prayers and claim God-sized promises. 
These attacks are a reminder a day is coming when there will be no more storms, attacks, and night. We are in God's will when we are in the midst of battle. During times of peace, guard against deception. Sanctify yourselves. Get ready for battle.