At All Times

Psalm 62:8

Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Trust.

At all times.

In everything. 

Big or small.

Pause & pour.

Share your heart with the One Who loves it most!

He is safe.

He protects. 

He is doing it now.

And will keep it up.

Trust, child, trust.  

His Love

Love this piano arrangement with lyrics of Reckless Love.

Psalm 42:8

"Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life"

He Delights in Me?

Something powerful that I read in November and continue to think upon is in Psalm 18:19 "...He delivered me because He delighted in me."

I believe the LORD loves me and accepts me. I believe I am forgiven of all my sins. But I struggled that He delights in me. When I read it in my Bible, I literally shook my head and tears came to my eyes.

I know me.

I know my thoughts and self will.

But then I reflected on the fact that I am covered by the precious blood of Jesus. And this delights my Father God. My sins, my wanderings are covered, hidden, gone, seen no more. I don't deserve His delight. But He chooses to delight in me anyway. Just like His love and forgiveness, I don't deserve it. It is all a gift from the Lover of my soul to this wayward child who is such a handful.

Then I studied more on the words "delight" and "rejoice" And Zephaniah 3:17 says “The LORD thy God is the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, He will joy over thee with singing.” Isaiah 62:4-5 speaks of "The LORD delighted in thee.." and "as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee."

After studying on it, I asked the LORD to give me grace to believe that He delights in me. And I have been running back to these verses often when I catch myself doubting this truth. Feelings are so deceptive and tossed around. I am so thankful for the Solid Rock to cling to.

Note to Self

Trust God for WHO He is...

And remember...

Identifying With Christ

Christ understands.

If you ever need to remember a truth this is it:
Christ understands.

Betrayed or wounded by a friend? He gets it. Felt forsaken? Yup, He's been there. Made to look foolish? Mocked by an enemy? Lied to? Rejected? Felt beat up? Deeply grieved? Overwhelmed by anguish & tears? Surrounded by excruciating pain? 

Oh, reader, He knows.
Christ understands.

But the opposite it true too.
You identify with Christ when you suffer.

What do you think hurt the most? 
The stripes on Christ's back or when the disciples all left Him? 

What pierced Jesus the most? 
The nails or His powerful love being rejected? 

What weighed heaviest upon His brow? 
The crown of thorns or the unbelief of those around Him?  

What was loudest, 
the silence of His Father or the accusations from the enemy?

When hurt, sorrow, rejection, or persecution come to you, remember Christ understands & you are learning to identify with Him.

2 Timothy 2:11-13

It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him: If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us: If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.

Philippians 3:10

That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

The Hardest Thing of All

This is probably the hardest post to write because it is the most personal and the most difficult to put into words. And it isn't a lesson you get taught once and get. It is more of a journey that Christ wants us to grow in. And a truth I must remind myself of.

I have already shared how when we don't forgive, we open ourselves up for attack from the enemy. Sometimes it is subtle. Sometimes it is bombarding. Either way, the enemy gains ground.
Here are more truths from Jim Logan's From Reclaiming Surrendered Ground:

• Failure to trust God in the grief and suffering of life opens us up to bitterness, and bitterness opens us up to enemy involvement.

• We give ground to the enemy when we permit him to exercise influence over us through the resentments, bitterness, and unforgiveness we allow in our lives.

• Bitterness towards God is an affront to His sovereignty. God is not accountable to us; we are accountable to Him.  

• Claim God's forgiveness for your sin; then let go of it. You have no right to hang on to that which He has forgiven.

• Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Forgiveness is something we do. 

• You must recognize and reject false beliefs (strongholds) if you are to remain free. Build back towers of truth and take thoughts captive

But in all this truth about the power of forgiveness, this one is the loudest: I need to forgive myself. And when I don't, I am vulnerable to the enemy.

And I struggle fiercely with this. Forgiving others can be difficult. Forgiving God isn't easy either. But forgiving myself is the hardest thing of all.

It reminds me of a bully who takes their victim's own hand and makes them punch themselves. That is basically what I let the enemy do to me when I have unforgiveness toward myself.

And it is because I believe I deserve it. And the enemy is ever ready to remind me of the evidence against me. Yet God the Almighty Judge has forgiven me! So who am I to usurp His authority and refuse to forgive myself for something He has pardoned?

And we wonder why we feel so tormented and satan has such power over us. We can't fight him when we walked into the enemy's prison camp unarmed and get in line for the torture chamber! And that is exactly what we do when we don't forgive ourselves. 

Several times over this past year the Lord has pointed at some very deep things in my soul. Deep, dark wounds that I thought I had gotten complete healing on years ago. And He revealed how the enemy still uses them as evidence against me to have footing for his lies. The roots of those lies go deep into my past. Places I don't like to visit. In April, The Lord did heart surgery on one area, and He cut away evidence the enemy had long held against me. In June, the Healer thought I was ready for more and He ripped several old lies out like weeds, roots & all. I again I bled out my eyes. But I felt such freedom deep within. Then this fall, my Jesus allowed a situation to show me once again the ground I give over when I am unforgiving. He opened my eyes to how very quickly the enemy can coax me to the edge of a slippery slope, all the while using my humanity as evidence to get me there. 

So I am learning to forgive me. The little me who wasn't brave. The young me who didn't know what to do. The rebellious teenage me who knew better and did the opposite any way. The young adult me that made repeated mistakes. And the middle age me that hasn't always learned what I think I should. 
I am learning to be more forgiving of myself. To look at my Savior for His perspective instead of mine. He continues to show me that it is all under His blood. And that He has redeemed it all. To help me grow. To help others. To glorify Him. 

Forgiving God

Yes, we need to forgive God. 
Not because He is evil or has sinned against us. God cannot sin. But the Great I Am is ultimately in charge of everything. He allows trials and hard times. And in our pain, we can become blinded to Who God really is. And the enemy is very subtle on tricking us to believe God is the enemy. Something was taken away from us or we were denied something we desired. Then we get angry and bitter against God. 

The enemy has this formula down to a science: wait for a God-ordained trial to come, blur the person's perception of God, help them interpret the situation, nurture unforgiveness to spring up, and the person is then an open target for vehement attack. 

We mistakenly think forgiveness is about others when it is really about ourselves. Jim Logan, in his book Reclaiming Surrendered Ground says the following about forgiveness:

• We will never forgive from our heart until we get in touch with the pain in our heart. 
• True forgiveness requires opening up and taking a good, honest look at what has been done no matter how much it hurts.
• Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Forgiveness is something we do. 
• Forgiveness is God's way of healing the deep hurts in our lives and bringing glory to God.

And there is something else forgiveness is. It is accepting the ongoing consequences. 

Early in my Christian walk, I had to forgive God for the miscarriage of my first baby. Losing my baby really shook my faith. The pain was intense and it all seemed so unfair. The Lord opens the womb. He allowed that baby to be conceived, and yet He also allowed that baby to die.  Living with empty arms was hard, very hard. Babies and baby stuff seemed to surround me. For awhile I held on to my pain and was really upset with God. Then the night came that Jim said, "I don't know what to do with you." As he walked out of the room, I realized that my unforgiveness towards God was affecting my relationship with my husband. And I knew I couldn't go to bed till God and I got this settled. It took hours, but finally I forgave God and accepted God decision. He had allowed it. And I had to live with it. Yet He would help me. No longer was I shaking my fist at Him. He could take my hand and walk with me through the pain to guide me to a place of healing.

Similar, yet different is living with the consequences of the death of my husband. This is extremely broad and deep, it would take a book to describe it all. But it is definitely continual. Not a day goes by that I don't deal with something that touches it. Raising boys, finances, house repairs, future decisions, homeschooling, vehicle issues, a son turning 18, and so much more. Accepting this life as God's plan and that it is best isn't easy. But I tremble to think were I would be, where my boys would be today if I had stayed angry at God. Forgiving God made it possible for all of us to heal. 

Now those are two big issues, but there are countless other things that we get frustrated about on a smaller scale. And all that frustration is really anger at God in disguise. Because everything ultimately crossed His desk. He limited it, and yet allowed it. For my good and His glory. But in the moment, my inner brat can't see how a sick kid, or car problems, or a fall out with a friend is good. It doesn't feel good. It hurts. And it seems down right unfair. 

But...
... shall not the Judge of all the earth do right? (Gen. 18:25b) His Word tells us He is good and doeth good. (Ps. 119:68) That all things work together for good to them that love God. (Rom. 8:28) And His Word promises He will make everything beautiful in His time. (Ecclesiastes 3:10a)

In the middle of pain and disappointment, one strong cord of truth is known: God loves me. Loves me more in one second than everyone could in a life time. I don't always like His decisions. But I know He loves me. I need to forgive Him for the times He takes away who and what I love. I need to forgive Him when He doesn't give me what I desire or think I need. And it is so needful to forgive & accept the consequences. Whatever they might be. He has grace for whatever it is. I need to trust that, in His love, He has my best interest in mind. 

Now with forgiveness comes a sweet peace that passes all understanding. It is an abundant peace that reminds me Christ will never be taken away from me and He is truly all I need. 

When You Can't Trust God

We are human and see through human eyes. And sometimes we will feel like God led us astray. That He led us down a wrong alley full of danger and pain. Our trust gets rattled. We struggle to discern His leading in our lives and we struggle to trust Him, period.

But in all that distrust, keep talking to God anyway. You will find out He is gently holding you, even when you are kicking to get away. He knows under the anger is tears and that we push away to try to get away from the pain that is locked inside us.

What should we do when we are struggling to trust God?

• Turn to people you know God has used to guide you in your past. Trusted counselors like your pastor, parents, and prayer partners. Look to them in discerning issues and God's direction until you grow strong again. 
• Go back to the last thing you are certain God said to you.
• Don't do anything rash. Don't make any big decisions. You don't want regrets.
• Guard your tongue, especially as a parent. It is okay to honestly tell your kids you are struggling to discern God right now. But don't dump your emotions on them that you feel like you can't trust God anymore. God IS trustworthy; we are the ones that struggle to follow or struggle to understand.
• Read through Psalms. Scan it for the verses with the base word "trust" in them. Mark them. Read them. Reread them. Read them outloud. They might be hard to believe. Ask God to help you believe. 
• Get alone with God. We live in a society that doesn't take time for solitude. Get off the phone. Turn off the tv and music. Just be still. And share it all with God. Pour out your heart. And then listen. There is so much the Lord wants to share if we would just stop all the busy and take time for Him. 
• Remind yourself of what you DO believe. That God is real. That Jesus raised from the grave. That He forgives sin. List what you believe. Say them. Build up in your heart again what you know to be true, then ask God to help your unbelief. 
• Keep your eyes and heart open. The Lord will baby step you back into trusting Him. One little decision after another, He will show you that you were listening to the Holy Spirit. Be patient. He has much to teach you and infinite ways to have you grow in your knowledge of Him. 

Drowning in Spiritual Attack

Stubbornly, I clench my unforgiveness. The enemy smiles and opens fire. An onslaught of accusations and lies bombard my mind. Arrow after arrow fly & skillfully hit their mark. My shield seems to shrink and my armor clatters to the ground. Wounded and bleeding, I collapse. Rattled by the fierce attack, I barely resist the enemy as he grabs me by the throat and hurls me into an angry sea. And then impatiently, he awaits for me to drown. The waves come over me and I gasp for oxygen. I kick and punch the water. A part of me wants to cry out to my Rescuer, Jesus. Another part of me is so furious that I would push Him away if He comes close. The rest of me fights between what I know to be true and my soul that shakes its head in unbelief. I gasp in a small breath of grace quickly before another waves plunges onto me. I hear the taunts of the enemy from the shore. And I feel myself getting weaker and sinking.
Ever felt like this spiritually?  What do you do? You feel so weak.

• Cry out to Jesus. He is mighty to save. No long prayers needed. Just a simple cry of "Mommy!" will awaken a sleeping mother to rush down the hall in the dead of night. How much more powerful is whispering Jesus' name in desperation & faith.
• Picture His powerful blood protectively covering you. 
• Say yes to His grace. He already has it for you. Open your clenched fist.
• Play godly Christian music. Play it all night if need be. The enemy can't stand music that worships Christ.
• Read Psalms outloud. Notice how much warfare is in it and how many times God delivered.
• Don't isolate yourself. Call a trusted friend, text them, email them, reach out in some way to at least one or two Christian friends. Simply text an "!" to them.
• Journal, draw, play piano, exercise, whatever is your therapy; do it! As long as it is healthy and it doesn't draw you away from Christ.
• Times of seclusion are ok, sometimes we need to turtle up to process, but also make yourself keep going to church activities. Say yes to that lunch date with a friend. Attend that surprise birthday party . You just might hear from God on the quiet drive home. 
• Keep talking to Jesus. He can handle your ugly, your dark, your fury. Just keep talking to Him. 
• Surrender whatever you are holding on to that isn't Christ. Let it go! Unforgiveness, hurts, regrets, "what if's", unbelief, mistrust. Surrender and He will lift you up.
• Remember this: Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees. Cuz it isn't about who we are, it is about Whose we are. Though we may feel like we will drown, we shall not. The Lord didn't let Peter drown. The ship the Lord was on didn't sink. He will hold me fast and His powerful Holy Spirit dwells within the believer. 
• Hold on to hope. Every battle ends eventually. Peace will come within. It will wrap around you like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. Hope in God; His abundant peace shall come. 

A couple weeks ago my pastor preached about battles. Here are my sermon notes:
The Israelites were recently released slaves that had never known battle and yet won their first battle against a well-trained army, the Amalekites. When a Christian gets free of spiritual bondage, they can defeat the well trained & and experienced enemy's spiritual army. You have the Holy Spirit Warrior God in you!
Some battles we face are consequences of a bad decision. We all make bad decisions. But God is willing to help Joshua get out of the mess he got himself into. He didn't check with God before making a league withe the Gideonites. Yet God fought for Israel against the five kings that warred with Gibeon. Israel fought against an enemy they couldn't defeat, but Almighty God was going to have them win. Joshua commanded the sun to stand still and it did! This teaches us to start praying God-sized prayers and claim God-sized promises. 
These attacks are a reminder a day is coming when there will be no more storms, attacks, and night. We are in God's will when we are in the midst of battle. During times of peace, guard against deception. Sanctify yourselves. Get ready for battle.

Identifying with Others: Scoffing

I read the Bible verse and something inside me scoffed, "Yeah, right." A part of me shivered in fear of God. Another part of me want to egg myself on to say more. I shut my Bible and climbed out of bed. "This is so not me," I thought. 
I opened my journal there was a scripture at the top of the page. I read it and said, "Nope, not feeling it!" My voice was sharp & full of high walls and more scoffing. My words poured out on the page. Then I slammed shut my journal.
I avoided my journal and Bible for a bit. Not sure what bothered me more. The words on the pages or the scoffing in my mind. I felt like I was on the edge of a slope getting ready to slide away from the only One in the world Who could save me. And yet a part of me didn't want Him to stop me.
The division in my soul was intense, stomach churning. Words slipped out that revealed the war within. And somewhere deep inside of me, I trembled in the fear of the Lord. And yet my heart refused to cry out to Him. The old me that had been crucified twenty years before seemed to raise its resurrected head in a freaky way. And like a grotesque zombie, it was ugly. "I don't care what You think anymore." The words tumbled out of my lips, but fell on deaf ears. Almighty God knew better. It was just another lie.
My God knew under all that scoffing was a hurt daughter who felt misled and wounded by the very One who had rescued her from herself before. A mistrusting adopted daughter that needed extra firm love and time. A daughter He was holding on to that was trying to shove Him away in her pain.
I am so thankful He holds me fast and that God doesn't leave us alone like we think we want Him to. I am thankful God alerted my preacher who privately warred for me in prayer weeks before I even knew I would need it. I am thankful for a couple trustworthy sisters-in- Christ. They interceded in prayer and intervened to back me away from that slippery slope. Wisely, they dealt with me gently and spoke truth. They listened without judgement, compassionately prayed, and kept entering my turtle shell. 
And so finally I humbled myself and cried out to my God. I bowed low and poured out my soul, all the ugly. I confessed all the mocking words and scoffing attitude, I laid it all at His feet. And my Jesus slew that resurrected zombie. And He whispered His eternal love and forgiveness to me. Since then He has renewed my spirit, and His Holy Word is life to me again. And with wisdom and gentle baby steps, He restored my trust in Him. 
But in those dark moments of my scoffing, I felt an empathy with many who reject God's love and forgiveness. I understood how feelings can dictate what one believes even when the truth is right in front of us. And how fear of more pain can keep us from crying out to the only One who has power to heal.

It was like having a solo tour of an abandoned prison. I felt the cold hard walls. Heard the clang of the doors. Saw despair and dark shadows. Felt trapped & alone. And it opened my eyes of understanding to the unsaved. It gave me insight into the soul of the backslidden. And once again my eyes affected my heart. And similar to the grinch, my heart grew larger.

Forgiving Others

"If you have ever seen a country church with a bell in the steeple, you will remember that to get the bell ringing you have to tug awhile. Once it has begun to ring, you merely maintain the momentum. As long as you keep pulling, the bell keeps ringing. Forgiveness is letting go of the rope. It is just that simple. But when you do so, the bell keeps ringing. Momentum is still at work. However, if you keep your hands off the rope, the bell will begin to slow and eventually stop.”- Corrie ten Boom, Holocaust survivor, Christian author & speaker
The Lord commands us several times throughout scripture to forgive others:

• Matthew 11:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
• Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
• Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
• Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
• Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
• Ephesians 4 :32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
  

And we are commanded to do this, to forgive, or be handed over to tormentors. Read in Matthew 18: 21-35 the story of the servant who was forgiven much who was unforgiving to his fellow servant. The Key verses are 34 & 35:

“And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”

We have been forgiven by our Holy & Just God. Who are we to withhold forgiveness from others? Forgiven people need to forgive or scripture is clear, we will be handed over to the tormentors. 

Most of us would not consider ourselves to be bitter. And bitterness is something us Christians try to avoid. Bitterness has been compared to poison or cancer. But reality is bitterness is simply unforgiveness. I used to believe that bitterness was unresolved unforgiveness. Or unforgiveness that sat and fermented into stenchy garbage that attracted rats also know as the enemy. But the above scripture clearly says the servant's unforgiveness is what caused him to be delivered to the tormentors. 

So for all the separation I want to make between bitterness & unforgiveness. They are the same. Bitterness used to send warning bells off within me. Danger! Unforgiveness sounds softer rolling off the tongue but it is truly flat dangerous! And when you have been forgiven for as many things as I have, and you choose not to forgive...you find yourself quickly surrounded by tormentors. And must learn the hard way the great danger of unforgiveness. 

So ask God for help in letting go of the rope of unforgiveness and keeping your hands off that rope. The Lord help Corrie ten Boom forgive a guard from the horrible concentration camp where her beloved sister died. He can surely help us forgive others. 

Identifying with Others: Anguish

Stab. Stab. Stab. Twist.
Like a knife stabbing our heart, again and again, emotional pain can feel so physical. Our stomaches knot up, our head aches, it hurts to breath, to think, to move.

And be honest, dear reader, anguish grips our soul in such a way we wish those who hurt us would hurt too. As humans, we desire others to understand the depth and sharpness of our pain. We want them to feel it so they regret the words or actions that hurt and so they never do it to us or anyone else again. 

We know scripture talks about how we are not to render evil for evil and vengeance is the Lord's place, not ours. But I am being real about how in our pain, we are not spiritually minded. Pain is very blinding. And many of us want others to feel what we are going through. And the Lord in His wisdom struck me with this truth....

Those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. 
Read that again. The anguish of heart and soul we feel, they have already bled through. The details are different. But all pain hurts. Period. I am going to type it again; those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. And my hardness against others melts. And I bow my head. In shame. In prayer. In compassion.

We forget when our pain is loud & demanding that others know pain just as much as we do. And our desire to shut everyone out & not let a soul near us is the very reason why many people keep us walled out. The fear we feel to trust is what others have felt for years. And it is the very reason they have cemented their hearts so tight against others, even against Christ. Instead of being a Thomas Kincaid cottage with warmth & light flooding out their windows, they are like Alcatraz, cold and dreary with high walls and bars. 

The next time someone hurts you (and there will be a next time, we are human) try to remember they have been hurt too. It will help you deal with them, in life & in your heart. Now I am not saying you can't or shouldn't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy, needful, & necessary. And some people who have hurt you are toxic and shouldn't have any place in your life. But how we view them in our heart is important. 

God doesn't waste anything. Not even pain. He is the Redeemer. And He redeems our brokeness & sorrow, and helps us see others in a different light. Lamentations 3:51a says "Mine eye has affected my heart..." Viewing others as people who know excruciating pain helps grow our compassion for them and softens us to forgive. It helps us love others, even our enemies, like Christ loves us. 

Lessons

This fall, the Lord once again has taken me through another season of intense learning. It has not been fun, but it has been very educational. 

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. Psalm 119:71

Through it all, I have grown to love my Jesus all the more and to connect with Him in some new ways. The Lord has also helped me identify with others and have greater compassion for them. And I have learned the power of forgiveness and the preciousness of the peace of God. It will probably take several posts and many days to get all these lessons written. But I don't want these truths to fall wasted to the ground. And when the next pop quiz comes, I don't want to fail and have to do a another retake!

!

I heard Francie Taylor this fall and she shared the coolest thing. A dear praying friend told her to text her an "!" if she needed pray. No explanation needed. Just one button then hit send. Just awesome idea cuz sometimes it is so hard to ask for prayer. And sometimes you can't talk or even know what to text. Sometimes it is just so private and personal. Or the tears and sobs are so overwhelming you can't do anything else. So I share this with every sister I know.  

I have used the "!" cry for prayer twice now. It has been such a blessing. The quick reply I got instantly was encouragement that I wasn't alone. Someone was praying on my behalf.

The first time after I heard a reply I was silent and just wept and prayed through. When the storm had past I updated my friend about the situation.

The next time I text "!" for prayer, my friend and I text back and forth for an hour.  I was dealing with an overwhelming grief wave that bordered on a panic attack. The sobs came so hard & the pain was so intense I could barely breath. The constant contact helped me immensely. Finally I could breath normally. And eventually the tears stopped. Then I fell asleep. Peacefully. 

Use it, my friend. "!" Tell your praying friends and encourage & pray for one another. Satan doesn't want us to reach out. It can be hard, I know. But ask God who to text & then reach out. 

He Wouldn't Let Me Go

The Scars of Life

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a u-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. An incredible tug-of-war between the two began. The alligator was much stronger than the father but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack. On his arms were deep scratches where his father’s fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he so loved.

The newspaper reporter interviewing the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, “But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn’t let go.”

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He’s been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you…You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way but sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril – and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That’s when the tug-of-war begins – and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Quoted from CCECstorylist: www.injesus.com/index.php

Love this song:

He Will Hold Me Fast

When I fear my faith shall fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
He will hold me fast
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast

Chorus:
He will hold me fast
He will hold me fast
For my Savior loves me so
He will hold me fast

Those He saves are His delight
Christ will hold me fast
Precious in His holy sight
He will hold me fast
He’ll not let my soul be lost
His promises shall last
Bought by Him at such a cost
He will hold me fast

CHORUS

For my life He bled and died
Christ will hold me fast
Justice has been satisfied
He will hold me fast
Raised with Him to endless life
He will hold me fast
Till our faith is turned to sight
When he comes at last

CHORUS”

— ORIGINAL WORDS VV 1-2 BY ADA HABERSHONNEW WORDS AND MUSIC BY MATT MERKER©2013 GETTY MUSIC PUBLISHING (BMI) / MATT MERKER MUSIC (BMI) (ADMIN BY MUSICSERVICES.ORG)

The Bible: God's Love Letter

I told my niece that the Bible is God's love letter to us. I don't know how this works for a guy. Maybe a letter from a father to a son. But every girl longs to be loved for who she is and to feel cherished. And the LORD is love and we are precious to Him. So like many of you readers know, I often read God's Word and HE turns it into a love letter to me. 

In my Bible right between the Old and New Testament, I wrote some words the LORD spoke to my heart months ago. It emphasises why I call Jesus the Lover of my soul. He knows a woman's heart better than she does. He knows exactly what she needs to hear even when she doesn't think she wants to hear it. I am fresh from a dark & treacherous battle. A battle that the LORD refused to let go of me in. A battle where just opening my Bible felt like the most difficult thing in the world. But when I did, I went to these words my precious WARRIOR KING had spoken to me before. Words HE doesn't want me to ever forget:

I want you. I think you are to die for. You are very special to me. I love you for you. I love you right where you are. I love you more than you will ever understand. Trust ME! I have the best plan. You are safe with ME! You are MINE! I will never leave you nor forsake you, no matter what. I am your refuge and strength. Your Healer. The Ultimate Lover of Your Soul! I gotcha!

Your Warrior King

Your Love Defends Me

Another song the Lord has just used powerfully to minister to my heart:

Your Love Defends Me

You are my joy,

You are my song
You are the well,

the One I'm drawing from
You are my refuge,

my whole life long
Where else would I go?

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

Day after day,

night after night
I will remember,

You're with me in this fight
Although the battle,

it rages on
The war is already won
I know the war is already won

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation

Songwriters: Matt Maher / Hannah Kerr
Your Love Defends Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Audiam, Inc, Essential Music Publishing

Whispers of Love from Psalm 73

August 30, 2018

Love letter to me from Psalm 73:23-28

Dear Christine,

You are continually with ME: I am holding you with MY right hand of power. I shall guide you with MY counsel, and afterward receive you, accept you, to MY glory. Who do you have in heaven but ME? And there is none upon earth that you should desire besides ME. I AM enough! Don't think of heaven as a place to see Jim or Benjie and others. Don't long for time with friends & family down here. Long for ME alone, Christine, more than anything.

Seek ME. Long for ME, love ME with all your heart and soul. Desire ME. Pursue ME. Respond to ME. Study ME. Surrender your heart to ME, open wide your heart to ME. Jim took you to a depth of love you had never felt before. Now that your heart is healed, let ME take you to a depth of love no one can ever take you to. It's a sacred place deep in MY heart. Let yourself dwell there. Abide there. For no matter who I allow in your life, there is a part of you they will never understand. But I do. And no one will continually walk with you in this life. Good-byes come. The fact is that in this life, it really is just you and ME, girl. Just US. And you know I AM enough. Let ME be your portion forever. Your flesh and your heart will fail you, but I AM the strength of your heart. I AM to be your emotional strength. I AM to be your portion forever.

They that are far from ME shall perish; I have destroyed all them that go a whoring from ME. Don't commit adultery on ME! But it is good for you to draw near to ME; you have put your trust in ME that you declare all MY work. Keep trusting ME, even when your heart and flesh fail. Fear not, little one, only believe. Believe ME!

Forever Yours,

The Lover of Your Soul,

Your Rescuer,

Your Healer,

Your Jesus

Angels

Here is a very famous picture of an angel guarding children. There are a lot of beliefs out there about angels. The one thing people seem to agree on is that they are real. Recently I did a study in the Word of God on angels. Here are some things I noted:

• They are created beings.
• They are refered to in the masculine sense.
• Humans do NOT become angels when they die.
• The word angel means messenger.
• They're called "ministering spirits."
• They led Lot & his family away from danger.
• An angel ministered to a weary Elijah and gave him food. 
• John said he say 10,000 x 10,000 of them.
• Angels are spoken about over 300 times in the Bible.
• They're mentioned in every book of the Bible except 7. (66-7=59 books)
• They can bring a message but only another person can lead a person to Jesus.
• They rejoice when humans get saved.
• Most often when they appear, people are afraid.
• Unless they appear like humans like they did to Abraham and Lot
• In human form, they can eat. 
• Angels have great power, but are not all-powerful.
• One shut the mouths of lions for Daniel.
• One busted Peter out of prision. 
• Just one angel will bind Satan with a great chain.
• Michael is called an arch angel. He is called the chosen prince of God's people and he leads the Lord's army.
• Gaberiel is the bearer of good news to Daniel, Zacharias, & Mary.
• Seraphim are a kind of angel that praise the name and character of God and are above His throne. 
• Seraphim have six wings: 2 cover their face, 2 cover their feet, and 2 they fly with.
• Cherubim are besides God's throne. And were set in the garden to guard the tree of life after the fall. 
• Cherubim are NOT cute babylike creatures with cute little wings. They have four faces: cherub, man, lion, and eagle. They have eyes all over them & have four wings.
• Other angels are protective and involved in the lives of God's people. 
• And they surrounded Christ from before His birth on earth to His accession to heaven again. Angels proclaimed His birth, ministered to Him in the wilderness & at Gethesmene, and rolled the stone away from His grave. 
• Angels worship God and refuse to be worshipped.
• We are not to worship them or seek them to help us. God alone is our refuge & worthy to be praised.

Two favorite scriptures concerning angels:

Psalm 34:7

The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear Him, and delivereth them.

Psalm 91:11-12

For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

There are just a few times I am certain God used angels in my life. There was a time shortly after my husband died. I walked into my diningroom and the emotional weight of everything was too much. I remember just physically going down. But before my knees could hit the floor, I felt lifted up onto my feet again. No one but me was in the room.

Another time this was again in those early dark days of grief as I woke up I felt someone holding my hand. I lay very still as I woke up more. I kept my eyes shut. It was very comforting. It slowly faded away. Of course when I opened my eyes, no one was there. 

Years ago when Snipp went walk-a-bout as a toddler, he saw something in a cornfield that made him want to go the other way. He told me it was white & came toward him. Because he walked away from it, he came to the edge of the field and was found!

Another time one of my kids was a very little and he fell on the porch and was going to fall down the cement steps. But something literal stopped him, like a hand blocked his fall.

Recently a friend had vehicle issues. A man stopped to help who knew everything about that kind of truck & the issues it had. He just happened to have a water themos when battery acid sprayed in my friend's face.

Was this a man directed by God "for such a time as this" or an angel sent by God?

Either way, Almighty God should be praised. He cares for little us in many miraculous ways.