I realize more and more how ill-equipped I am as a mom.
That day to day lack of influence of a godly man in their lives looms like a canyon in front of us.
I know why women rush into new relationships.
It isn't always because of loneliness.
It may be that the vacuum of not having a man in the home is such a powerful void
that any man seems better for the children than no man.
There is something about a man's voice and his presence that effects a child, especially a teenage boy.
My own ache for my beloved has subsided. But the ache I have for my children's lack of a father is ever mighty in my heart. I feel it even more intense as they are become young men. Sometimes these days seem even harder than the ones right after their dad died.
Evermore, I am running to the LORD, placing them at His feet, pleading with Him to fill in the hole with more of Himself. Praying for the boys to learn to run to Jesus when they would have turned to their father. Pushing them toward the LORD as they pull away from me.
This isn't an encouraging post. It isn't even one testifying about the LORD's fingerprints on our lives. It is just from one real mom who loves Christ very much and is staring at a canyon of manhood and realizing she has got to pray her boys into it. It is a place she can't go. And though their dad isn't there to lead them into it, she has got to stay on the rim, on her knees and believe in what she cannot see. To trust in an everlasting Father who promised to never leave her children alone. Though HE seems silent, though He seems absent, though He seems to not be enough.............she bows her head, and choses to hope and believe, even feebly, as the tears run down her checks and her heart aches for her children.
Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive;
and let thy widows trust in me.