Anger

Anger is very much a part of grief. It is often displayed more than its two roots: pain & fear. It often is the hard armor we reveal when life has turned upside down. We feel frustrated, irritated, mad at the world and everyone in it. It is natural. But we must be brave and dig past the anger to find what is the root. What fear or hurt is really under all the anger? Then we need to give a voice to it. It takes hard work to dig. And our pride often wants to deny the fear and to protect where we are wounded. But it is important to dig.
Anger can be very destructive. It often gets poured out on others or is poured out silently on ourselves. Neither one focuses on the real issue. We can get stuck in grief anger. Holding on to our anger like it will keep us connected to our loved one. It won't. It just prolongs healing. So the healthy thing is to dig. Try to give a voice to the anger. Listen for fear or pain. Then that is what needs to be truly expressed. Some people need to talk it out, some like me write, other might need to exercise, do a sport, go hiking, and in the process grief anger's mask falls off and the real issues can be dealt with.
Grief is messy & disruptive. It pingpong through many emotions: fear, pain, anger seem to be the big three for me. But others regret is huge or guilt. You won't deal with these once and be done.  You will bounce back to emotions and peel another layer back each time. But do NOT lose hope.
God spoke to me years ago in Psalm ? That He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds. "You won't always hurt like this." I needed that hope when the pain overwhelmed and I could barely breathe.
There is hope. And there is healing. And even when clouds of anger overshadow my home, there is hope. And no matter how many times I or my sons clench our fists in anger. Every time we open it again Jesus is right there to take our hand & lead us one more step further on this jouney to healing.