Gentle Snow

Gentle snow falls. Tiny fine flakes. Calm. Beautiful. Not my favorite snow-globey snow, but magical nevertheless. I feel it beckoning me. To walk to the end of the driveway. To walk to Jim's grave. I turn away instead and finish a needed task. Then I head towards the house. The snow beckons me again. I hesitate. I consider lingering longer and letting it lead me to my beloved's resting place. But there are tasks that need completed and people to tend to. And I cannot let the emotions escape. Not yet anyway. I turn my back on the enticing whisper of the snow and trudge inside. I close the door behind me. And simultaneously stuff the emotions down. Way down. I press on.

Much later bedtime comes. Exhausted I burrow under the covers. Tears rise within me. The snow still falls outside. It still beckons to my heart. I long to creep outside and let the magical snow pause life for a few moments. But my body is weary and the tears are like little icicles. Frozen within me.

Twelve hours later while driving home with Snurr,  a song comes on the radio. The storm stirs within and before I can escape, tears melt and flow down my cheeks. Snurr notices and starts asking questions, "Missing Nana?" " Miss Daddy?" "What is it?" I am afraid to speak. It is all I can do to keep back the salty storm surge. I mumble something like "It's okay" or ""I'm okay" as I drop him off at home. I drive on to the post office. The moment it is just Jesus & me,  hot salty rivers flow like a dam has been broken. Each tear full of emotions that cannot be explained with words. But I don't have to explain them to Jesus. He knows and understands it all. And no matter the storms around me or within me, my Jesus is with me. And I do my best to praise Him in the storm.

"Praise You in This Storm"

I was sure by now, 

God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
And it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hands
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
I'm with You
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of heaven and earth

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Mark Hall / Bernie Herms

Praise You In This Storm lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management, Essential Music Publishing, Capitol Christian Music Group