Identifying with Others: Anguish

Stab. Stab. Stab. Twist.
Like a knife stabbing our heart, again and again, emotional pain can feel so physical. Our stomaches knot up, our head aches, it hurts to breath, to think, to move.

And be honest, dear reader, anguish grips our soul in such a way we wish those who hurt us would hurt too. As humans, we desire others to understand the depth and sharpness of our pain. We want them to feel it so they regret the words or actions that hurt and so they never do it to us or anyone else again. 

We know scripture talks about how we are not to render evil for evil and vengeance is the Lord's place, not ours. But I am being real about how in our pain, we are not spiritually minded. Pain is very blinding. And many of us want others to feel what we are going through. And the Lord in His wisdom struck me with this truth....

Those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. 
Read that again. The anguish of heart and soul we feel, they have already bled through. The details are different. But all pain hurts. Period. I am going to type it again; those that hurt us already know excruciating pain. And my hardness against others melts. And I bow my head. In shame. In prayer. In compassion.

We forget when our pain is loud & demanding that others know pain just as much as we do. And our desire to shut everyone out & not let a soul near us is the very reason why many people keep us walled out. The fear we feel to trust is what others have felt for years. And it is the very reason they have cemented their hearts so tight against others, even against Christ. Instead of being a Thomas Kincaid cottage with warmth & light flooding out their windows, they are like Alcatraz, cold and dreary with high walls and bars. 

The next time someone hurts you (and there will be a next time, we are human) try to remember they have been hurt too. It will help you deal with them, in life & in your heart. Now I am not saying you can't or shouldn't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy, needful, & necessary. And some people who have hurt you are toxic and shouldn't have any place in your life. But how we view them in our heart is important. 

God doesn't waste anything. Not even pain. He is the Redeemer. And He redeems our brokeness & sorrow, and helps us see others in a different light. Lamentations 3:51a says "Mine eye has affected my heart..." Viewing others as people who know excruciating pain helps grow our compassion for them and softens us to forgive. It helps us love others, even our enemies, like Christ loves us. 

Lessons

This fall, the Lord once again has taken me through another season of intense learning. It has not been fun, but it has been very educational. 

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. Psalm 119:71

Through it all, I have grown to love my Jesus all the more and to connect with Him in some new ways. The Lord has also helped me identify with others and have greater compassion for them. And I have learned the power of forgiveness and the preciousness of the peace of God. It will probably take several posts and many days to get all these lessons written. But I don't want these truths to fall wasted to the ground. And when the next pop quiz comes, I don't want to fail and have to do a another retake!

!

I heard Francie Taylor this fall and she shared the coolest thing. A dear praying friend told her to text her an "!" if she needed pray. No explanation needed. Just one button then hit send. Just awesome idea cuz sometimes it is so hard to ask for prayer. And sometimes you can't talk or even know what to text. Sometimes it is just so private and personal. Or the tears and sobs are so overwhelming you can't do anything else. So I share this with every sister I know.  

I have used the "!" cry for prayer twice now. It has been such a blessing. The quick reply I got instantly was encouragement that I wasn't alone. Someone was praying on my behalf.

The first time after I heard a reply I was silent and just wept and prayed through. When the storm had past I updated my friend about the situation.

The next time I text "!" for prayer, my friend and I text back and forth for an hour.  I was dealing with an overwhelming grief wave that bordered on a panic attack. The sobs came so hard & the pain was so intense I could barely breath. The constant contact helped me immensely. Finally I could breath normally. And eventually the tears stopped. Then I fell asleep. Peacefully. 

Use it, my friend. "!" Tell your praying friends and encourage & pray for one another. Satan doesn't want us to reach out. It can be hard, I know. But ask God who to text & then reach out. 

He Wouldn't Let Me Go

The Scars of Life

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a u-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. An incredible tug-of-war between the two began. The alligator was much stronger than the father but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack. On his arms were deep scratches where his father’s fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he so loved.

The newspaper reporter interviewing the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, “But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn’t let go.”

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He’s been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you…You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way but sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril – and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That’s when the tug-of-war begins – and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Quoted from CCECstorylist: www.injesus.com/index.php

Love this song:

He Will Hold Me Fast

When I fear my faith shall fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
He will hold me fast
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast

Chorus:
He will hold me fast
He will hold me fast
For my Savior loves me so
He will hold me fast

Those He saves are His delight
Christ will hold me fast
Precious in His holy sight
He will hold me fast
He’ll not let my soul be lost
His promises shall last
Bought by Him at such a cost
He will hold me fast

CHORUS

For my life He bled and died
Christ will hold me fast
Justice has been satisfied
He will hold me fast
Raised with Him to endless life
He will hold me fast
Till our faith is turned to sight
When he comes at last

CHORUS”

— ORIGINAL WORDS VV 1-2 BY ADA HABERSHONNEW WORDS AND MUSIC BY MATT MERKER©2013 GETTY MUSIC PUBLISHING (BMI) / MATT MERKER MUSIC (BMI) (ADMIN BY MUSICSERVICES.ORG)

The Bible: God's Love Letter

I told my niece that the Bible is God's love letter to us. I don't know how this works for a guy. Maybe a letter from a father to a son. But every girl longs to be loved for who she is and to feel cherished. And the LORD is love and we are precious to Him. So like many of you readers know, I often read God's Word and HE turns it into a love letter to me. 

In my Bible right between the Old and New Testament, I wrote some words the LORD spoke to my heart months ago. It emphasises why I call Jesus the Lover of my soul. He knows a woman's heart better than she does. He knows exactly what she needs to hear even when she doesn't think she wants to hear it. I am fresh from a dark & treacherous battle. A battle that the LORD refused to let go of me in. A battle where just opening my Bible felt like the most difficult thing in the world. But when I did, I went to these words my precious WARRIOR KING had spoken to me before. Words HE doesn't want me to ever forget:

I want you. I think you are to die for. You are very special to me. I love you for you. I love you right where you are. I love you more than you will ever understand. Trust ME! I have the best plan. You are safe with ME! You are MINE! I will never leave you nor forsake you, no matter what. I am your refuge and strength. Your Healer. The Ultimate Lover of Your Soul! I gotcha!

Your Warrior King

Your Love Defends Me

Another song the Lord has just used powerfully to minister to my heart:

Your Love Defends Me

You are my joy,

You are my song
You are the well,

the One I'm drawing from
You are my refuge,

my whole life long
Where else would I go?

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

Day after day,

night after night
I will remember,

You're with me in this fight
Although the battle,

it rages on
The war is already won
I know the war is already won

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

Surely my God

is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me
And when I feel like

I'm all alone
Your love defends me,

Your love defends me

We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation

Songwriters: Matt Maher / Hannah Kerr
Your Love Defends Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Audiam, Inc, Essential Music Publishing

Whispers of Love from Psalm 73

August 30, 2018

Love letter to me from Psalm 73:23-28

Dear Christine,

You are continually with ME: I am holding you with MY right hand of power. I shall guide you with MY counsel, and afterward receive you, accept you, to MY glory. Who do you have in heaven but ME? And there is none upon earth that you should desire besides ME. I AM enough! Don't think of heaven as a place to see Jim or Benjie and others. Don't long for time with friends & family down here. Long for ME alone, Christine, more than anything.

Seek ME. Long for ME, love ME with all your heart and soul. Desire ME. Pursue ME. Respond to ME. Study ME. Surrender your heart to ME, open wide your heart to ME. Jim took you to a depth of love you had never felt before. Now that your heart is healed, let ME take you to a depth of love no one can ever take you to. It's a sacred place deep in MY heart. Let yourself dwell there. Abide there. For no matter who I allow in your life, there is a part of you they will never understand. But I do. And no one will continually walk with you in this life. Good-byes come. The fact is that in this life, it really is just you and ME, girl. Just US. And you know I AM enough. Let ME be your portion forever. Your flesh and your heart will fail you, but I AM the strength of your heart. I AM to be your emotional strength. I AM to be your portion forever.

They that are far from ME shall perish; I have destroyed all them that go a whoring from ME. Don't commit adultery on ME! But it is good for you to draw near to ME; you have put your trust in ME that you declare all MY work. Keep trusting ME, even when your heart and flesh fail. Fear not, little one, only believe. Believe ME!

Forever Yours,

The Lover of Your Soul,

Your Rescuer,

Your Healer,

Your Jesus