Trusting on the Backside

I have longed to go visit my old Bethel for the last several weeks. Monday I was finally able to. Actually, a situation compelled me to. So I took the short drive alone and walked down the familiar bike trail. It was a gorgeous spring day! But my body was battling sickness and my soul was weary. 

As I sat on the bench, many things tumbled out of my heart in prayer. Then it was time to listen in expectation. Only two things were impressed upon my heart:

"Trust Me on the backside."

Trusting Jesus now about Him taking care of something later, years later.

It is one thing to stay grasping Jesus' hand as you step into an unknown adventure. It is another kind of trust when you are on the backside of the desert deep in the trenches of that adventure! 

For example, Moses' faith in God as he stood before Pharoah and their showdown began was much different than when he was on the backside of the wilderness trying to lead hungry, thirsty, whiney people. 

Or the widow in Zarephath. Trusting God to provide for her and her son's daily food at the beginning of the 3 year famine was different than when Elijah asked her to use the last of it for the prophet and then make a meal for her and her son.  

I heard the news of two young families forever changed by tragedy. Two new young widows each with a couple young children. I have no idea if they are believers. I have been praying for them & their little ones with understanding and tears of remembrance. It has been 12 years. I am on the backside of one season of life and yet face another.

As the boys get older and we are heading toward the backside of their time at home, I feel my faith in God about the future being molded differently. For 147 months, the Lord has provided for our needs. He will continue to be faithful even when how He provides changes. He has helped me carry the weight of two on the shoulders of one. I have turned to many for counsel, but the ultimate decisions have rested on me. The weigh of some of them are indescribable! I know more will come. But through it all, the Lord gave me strength step by step. I feel like another mountain lies before us and the Lord says, "Trust Me on the backside."

The other whisper to my soul was "What are you believing Me for today?" Good question. 

I stood then and turned my face into the sunshine and breeze.  "I am believing You are going before me in this situation. That you have enough strength for me to make it through this day. That You are at work in all I cannot see. That You will give me the answer I need. That is what I am believing You for today."

Then I headed back down the trail to deal with what needed dealt with. One step at a time, holding my Heavenly Father's hand.