Battles in the Mind

"The mind is God's classroom, satan's playground, and the Christian's battlefield."

Battles--they are all around us.
People battle one another, they battle diseases, they battle loneliness, they battle injustice...

We battle in our minds.

Satan whispers sweet and low and harsh and accusing.
It can be difficult to decipher it is him.
We blame Eve so quickly when we too fall prey to the enemy's deception and lies.
The scripture doesn't describe the sorrow of Eve after the fall. It doesn't speak of all the tears and sleepless nights that occurred as she continued to listen to the enemy beat her up with accusations.
But I am sure they were there.

I am sure of it because I know what the enemy throws at me.
I know how he tells me lies about myself, my family, and my God.
They come so seemingly innocent some days.
Just a little nudge to indulge myself or procrastinate or be lazy.
A little shadow of doubt on a truth, A little confusion to what God hath said.
A little fear to make me hesitate to step forward in faith.

Then there are times the lies can come fast and pelting like a hail storm.
Making me feel blinded, confused, and overwhelmed.
Most often these are fears that pounce on me like a mountain lion,
going for my jugular and seeking to destroy me.
Unbelief wearing a mask that seeks to be my god and rule my heart.

How does one battle these attacks?
With a sword....with the Word of God.
Seek to get as much of it in your heart as you can.
Seek to read it as much as you can.
Sharpen the blade with truth and promises.

Victory is assured us. Yet victory isn't just handed over.
We must learn to battle. With His Word in prayer
and in our minds.

Because We Can

Some of you may have heard of a state governor who encouraged the reading of God's Word across his whole state. Reading the Bible for 80 hours straight from Genesis to Revelation. The cousins and we made a pajama run to the closest fast food place for ice cream.  (For all of you don't know, a pajama run is when you take the kids in their PJs to a store/restaurant for a treat. I highly recommended it. It keeps my boys on their toes; they call me crazy but I pray they do pajama runs with their children.)

My love for God's Word and my curiosity enticed me to check out this Bible Marathon out while we were in town. We did a quick drive by before getting ice cream. Then as we got our late night treat.  I couldn't get away from the feeling to go and stop at the Bible Marathon tent.  So we headed back to the courthouse lawn. They had a simple tent set up with a pulpit, small table, and chairs for the listeners. It was late at night so they had a light shining on the pulpit. One of the cousins asked why they were doing it. My son replied, "Because we can."

As we pulled up and parked, we were startled by a man who came around the block. He looked suspicious and intimidating. Once he was safely gone, I got out. The children all wanted to just stay in the vehicle. It was dark out and there was a cool breeze. After the man had startled us, I didn't blame them. So I proceeded to the tent. I sat and listened for awhile. Then asked if I could read. They said sure.  I only read two chapters, but I signed my name at the beginning of the chapter I began to read at. Sure there were a couple tricky names of cities I wasn't sure about how to pronounce, but I felt surrounded by God as I read. Oh, I must tell you that the previous reader had read the very chapter my previous Sunday School lesson had been about. God's perfect timing!

The light shining on the pulpit made it difficult to see anything outside of the tent. My thoughts raced to the man that had startled us as we drove up. I thought of the sheriffs office across the street. I thought of brothers and sisters in Christ in North Korea who don't have the freedom to read God's Word as publically as I was. People who had every fear to read the Bible anytime. "Because we can" my son had said. Yes, we have freedoms in America that other citizens in other countries don't have. Freedoms are to be exercised.....if we don't exercise them, we will certainly lose them.

The Canyon

Sometimes the hole seems so big.

As these boys edge closer and closer to manhood,
I realize more and more how ill-equipped I am as a mom.
That day to day lack of influence of a godly man in their lives looms like a canyon in front of us.
I know why women rush into new relationships.
It isn't always because of loneliness.
It may be that the vacuum of not having a man in the home is such a powerful void
that any man seems better for the children than no man.
There is something about a man's voice and his presence that effects a child, especially a teenage boy.
My own ache for my beloved has subsided. But the ache I have for my children's lack of a father is ever mighty in my heart. I feel it even more intense as they are become young men. Sometimes these days seem even harder than the ones right after their dad died.
Evermore, I am running to the LORD, placing them at His feet, pleading with Him to fill in the hole with more of Himself. Praying for the boys to learn to run to Jesus when they would have turned to their father. Pushing them toward the LORD as they pull away from me.

This isn't an encouraging post. It isn't even one testifying about the LORD's fingerprints on our lives. It is just from one real mom who loves Christ very much and is staring at a canyon of manhood and realizing she has got to pray her boys into it. It is a place she can't go. And though their dad isn't there to lead them into it, she has got to stay on the rim, on her knees and believe in what she cannot see. To trust in an everlasting Father who promised to never leave her children alone. Though HE seems silent, though He seems absent, though He seems to not be enough.............she bows her head, and choses to hope and believe, even feebly, as the tears run down her checks and her heart aches for her children.

Jeremiah 49:11 

Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive;

and let thy widows trust in me.

Lessons

I played a crazy game tonight with my children and niece and nephew. It was a mixture between army, capture the flag, and hide-n-seek. I learned a few things about myself and the children. I learned that as a momma I have more patience then they do. I could hide and just wait them out. I also had more heart to endure. When my son was chasing me, I fled to the woods and then quickly hid. The mosquitoes were horrible bullies, but I stayed hidden till all was clear. I also had courage to ambush two of them at once. The surprised look on their faces was hilarious, so hilarious that I fell to the ground laughing and they tagged me out!

I am glad I played with the children. I also am thankful for the strategies I learned. I needed them in the game and I need them in life:

• Patience is essential; sometimes I just need to keep my mouth shut and wait trials out.
• A heart to endure is crucial, for sometimes the safest place is where you have to endure the bullies.
• Courage is worth it all, even it you fail the mission. At least I faced the adversary.
• Oh, another lesson it is feels great to fall down laughing, especially when I don't laugh as often as I should.

Powerful Tracts

This morning at church a visiting gentleman gave me a tract, two tracts actually.
Read them here: His Story and Her Story:Shot, But Not Down--Praise God!

What was most touching to me was that these tracts were basically his testimony and his wife's testimony, not only of their salvation through Jesus Christ, but also of God's hand of protection and healing during a family tragedy. I have read many, many tracts through the years. I have given away many of them. But these were different. These were personal. The very person whose life and salvation was summed up on a trifold, glossy pamphlet had handed it to me. The very woman who was shot at a park and survived sat in front of me and we worshipped the Lord together. Powerful testimony. And a powerful challenge to me. 

If my life was put on a tract, what would be my message?

Would it make others look to Jesus and cry out for salvation?

And would  my daily life back up the printed message?

Lord, thank You for challenging my heart. May I be a faithful ambassador for You.

He Sees, He Knows, He Cares

As the elderly gentleman got back in his truck, I thought, "That is just like God!" and smiled. Let me rewind....the very next morning after my last post, I had an elderly gentleman stop by and talk to me about some trees. As we visited, I told him I was a homeschool mom. He asked me why I was homeschooling the boys. Fair question. But it helped me reaffirm to myself why I do what I do as I explained why. He then asked if I was a Christian. I was delighted to tell him that yes, I am! Long story short, he is a veteran Christian homeschool dad with three grown children living for the Lord! He encouraged me, commended me for what I was doing as widow mom, and I could also testify of God's provision and care through the years. Which of course, encouraged my heart as I look to the future. Less than 24hrs after I sat in discouragement as a mom and homeschool teacher, the Lord sent this man to my door!  Like I typed before, that is just like God!

Hard Days

I want this blog to be a "real" blog. And I will admit, real life is hard. Some days are overwhelmingly wearisome and stressful.  Recently I read this post of a fellow blogger: A Prayer for You When You Want to Quit. It was exactly what I needed that day. And exactly what I needed to reread again tonight. Life is hard. Jesus never promised it would be easy. He did promise to be with us always though. Long ago I listen to a speaker who emphasized those three phrases: He sees, He knows, He cares. Comforting words to remember.

"From the ends of the earth will I cry unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed:

lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For Thou hast been a shelter for me,

and a strong tower from the enemy." Psalm 61:2-3